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Burkman Begins

by Mooreman Records

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1.
Rampage 04:54
Long, long ago Burk was a man But Burk sold his soul because he can If you see him and he sees you You better run and hide, you're fucking screwed Burk is gonna kill you tonight Burky's on a rampage Burky's gonna hunt you down Burky's on a rampage Say your prayers and say your goodbyes Some call him a God, and some a king With Burk you never know what the future will bring Oceans will boil and blood will rain Your life will be filled with torture and pain Burk is gonna kill you tonight Burky's on a rampage Burky's gonna end your life Burky's on a rampage Say your prayers and say goodnight
2.
Problem 05:00
Doing 90 on the parkway, one eye closed and one hand cuffed Sirens miles behind him where the pigs are chasing dust He stuck some stupid sucker for his wallet and his cell Jamie's up in heaven while you're stuck in Jamie's hell Coke's so lovely Burk's got money, Burk's got white You got a problem? You got a fight Burk's not backing down from anyone He's just having fun Street fights and some threesomes. Burk don't know and Burk don't care Screaming at the moon after fighting with a bear Jumping speedboats through a chopper while playing Edward 40-Hands Bank hostages are dying cause they can't meet Burk's demands Coke's so lovely Burk's got money, Burk's got white Burk's got a problem, Burk's got a knife Burk's ready to do this one last time His final line....
3.
Doomed 02:51
Burk can't believe this Burk's heart is pounding Did you hear the news? The offer went through Burk's jumping up and down The house is his, come look around But take off your shoes Burk's house, it rules. It has a view. Only a 10 minute drive to Walmart in North Versailles Burk can't believe this Burk's so excited Did you hear the news? Fixed rate mortgage at 2.2% The air conditioner needs repaired The siding has some wear and tear But the porch is brand new Behind a bookshelf, a secret room with a spiral staircase that leads down to a den Ghosts: "We know who you are. You have awoken the spirits of the damned. It was on this very day, 3000 years ago they sacrificed 1000 virgin slaves, and that's why all your walls are bleeding. And if you think that's bad, wait until you're asleep, we'll scratch your eyes out." Burk can't believe this The house is haunted Did you hear the news? That Burk got screwed Demons took his soul to hell The power of Christ cannot compel I guess Burk's just doomed
4.
Dancing Fool 02:42
Roll up fresh when the evening's on Walk up sick like the crowd is gone Center stage, withdrawn Moves turned up to the break of dawn And Burk cannot be outdone by any of you Burk came to pop and lock and dance Burk came to pop and lock and dance And Burk came to shock and awe the fans And we stopped to watch him "Rocketman" And Burkman, can't stop, can't stop, won't stop, hip hop Burk's arch rival's turn is next His disco moves leave Burky vexed Back hand, loud thud Burk moonwalked on a pool of blood And Burk will not be outdone by any of you Burk came to pop and lock and dance Burk came to pop and lock and dance And Burk came to shock and awe the fans And we stopped to watch him "Park the Van" And Burkman, can't stop, can't stop, won't stop, hip, hop
5.
Soft 03:53
Keg ready, girls dancing It's about time to start romancing Eight beers, double vision Little Burky is on a mission She's staring at him with green eyes She tells Burk that he should come inside She grabbed Burky and said, "Listen babe, it's not that hard." But Burk can't get it up And Burk can't get it up And Burk can't get it up And Burk can't get it up He's as soft as Wonderbread Another night, a different story Chugging tequila in all his glory Topless babes, dirty thoughts Burky's tummy's wet from body shots Two girls, one James He didn't even try to learn their names They said, "Jamie, we're almost finished. Are you ready to start?" But Burk can't get it up And Burk can't get it up And Burk can't get it up And Burk can't get it up He's as soft as Charmin Ultra It's not that weird, it's pretty fuckin common It happens all the time Well I don't mean that it happens to me all the time Just Google it In a recent study, 7 out of 10 guys have felt this way It doesn't mean that I'm not into it or I'm gay I just can't get it up And Burk can't get it up
6.
Wicked Sick 02:59
Burky blew 400 bucks on a yard sale time machine He wanted somewhere to go, not a place to stay Burky had had enough of the same old same old, so he hopped on in the cockpit and flew away He met and fell in love with a gentile girl named Eva She asked James if he "really came all this way to save" her She said, "Jamie my dear, my husband is abusive" Burky said, "There is nothing to fear. I'll do anything for you" Burky worked his way to the top of her husband's administration Burky was his right hand man, with salary & paid vacation When he returned to Eva, he asked, "Do you wanna know how he died? I fed him rat poison and shot off his head, made it look like a suicide" Burky said, "Now that I'm in charge of spreading the New World Order, I'll give you anything I want" and she said, "Burky's so cool."
7.
Jamie We all have faith in Jamie He who wath born from the sea We all have a friend in Jamie A world full of fools Jamie chose me I opened my eyes and now I can see The next summer solstice we will join hands We will sleep when heaven expands Jamie We all have faith in Jamie He who wath born from the sea We all have a friend in Jamie A world full of liars Jamie chose me I closed my eyes so Jamie can lead The next summer solstice will bring misery The eternal elixir of Thanatos will set us free All knowing is Jamie You can count on me All knowing is Jamie You are love
8.
Lil Rascal 03:43
Burk was born into a happy home Loved to talk to grandma on the phone Little Burky says the darndest things Asks his mom to push him on the swing Oh Burk, what have you gotten into? Forgot to wear a helmet on his bike Boo-boos on his knees, he did not like Burk tried to bake a cake for dad The fire took everything that they had Oh Burk, what have you gotten into? When the neighbors went out for a jog Little Burk fed chocolate to their dog He left the corpse in the alleyway Didn't wash his hands for the rest of the day Oh Burk, what have you gotten into?
9.
Planets 02:33
Burk's walking down the street, midday, whistling his cares away Stops right-quick to tie his shoes, something strange came on the news Shook his head, "holy shit!" The pentagon was blown to bits His jaw dropped when the Sun was blocked out by robots from other PLANETS! Unanswered prayers, screams and moans Bodies burning to their bones Burk was running out of breath The bots above were raining death Out of everyone on Earth, the mothership selected Burk A metal claw pulled him in Abducted by robots from other PLANETS! Prisoners call Burk "pretty lips," Burk's in robot jail Burk had to join a robot gang to survive this robot hell "Oil on my dick or knife!" His tone was rather manic But that's what you gotta do when you're imprisoned with ROBOTS FROM OTHER PLANETS!
10.
Burkland 04:32
Disneyworld is pretty fun and magical It'd be one of my first picks, if I was six Six flags is grand if you wanna stand in line all day It's rather boring, it leaves me snoring What kind of monster goes to Sea World? I don't think orcas should be in captivity So come with me if you wanna see a world with pleasures that just grow Oh, don't you know? About Burkland! Burkland! That's where I wanna be Burkland! Burkland! There's just so much to see Burkland! Burkland! My heart is filled with glee Burkland! Burkland! The rides are the best. Cardiac arrest killed 31 guests last year alone Who would've known? No inhibitions or restrictions, we can use drugs openly So bring some ecstasy Free whiskey shots at all the spots where strippers sing and shake their tits And do some splits So do yourself a favor. Sign the waiver, but you can't join in the fun if you're under 21 Burkland! Burkland! That's where I wanna be Burkland! Burkland! There's just so much to see Burkland! Burkland! My heart is filled with glee Burkland! Burkland! Legend has it that if you sit next to Jamie on a ride Be very sneaky, when he least expects it, tickle his side All the way back to the station, Burk will giggle, Burk will beg and plea But when the ride is over, he will give you a season pass for free
11.
Kablam! Slam! Jamie Burkman Known all around the world, even in Japan I guess it's clear now that he is a legend Can't have a conversation without him mentioned Always a party when Jamie come through Walk in through the door, Newport and Mountain Dew Big bag of herb, you already knew Time to turn it up, Burkman to the rescue Burk go hard, man, I must admit We all knew that cause he's fuckin legit Honestly there's nothing that he won't permit When shit's going down, Burkman the culprit Cause even if you don't see him, Burk's always around No matter what we're doing, Jamie's always down Hanging with Burkman, the man in town Burk's like a king, dude. He should wear a crown Burk's flawless and lawless, the opposite of bland Clean out all of your ears so that you can understand He'll cut you and fuck you and take a bit of time And show you that your two cents ain't worth a dime While Burk's gold money, in the dark he's sunny Burk's a fucking A legend like the Easter Bunny Burk don't ever let a pretty honey walk by unharassed You'd think they'd keep on walking, but they thought he'd never ask He gets them trashed, goes to work. Tap that ass Burk got no class "Leave bitch and cut the sass" Burk's a baller If you don't think he's faster, better, stronger, then he'll show you It'd make you sick to see how many cash stacks that he blows through Haters gonna hate, players gonna play Burk kills n****** every single day In every single way, makes him feel okay, what can he say? Burk's a racist From Monday to sundown, Burk gets down deep Ran away one day and didn't come back for a week Burk is a jerk, it's no joke He tried to smoke banana peels with a peeled stogie If he's not broke, don't try to fix him It won't work cause Burky's not trying to listen He's too busy getting stoned like bedrock On his xbox and his dog got dreadlocks Putting little kids in headlocks Like Burk says, "the only good cops are dead cops" Burk never backs down, when things get messy Jesse is an assclown Burk like a butterfly, sting like a Burk If you Burk with Burky, Burk will go berserk Burk never laughs, unless something's funny Plus I heard he was good friends with Tom Montgomery
12.
Stepdad 04:04
I try to be a good girl all day long And do no wrong I know he loves me but I get sad When he gets mad If I talk back Burk is gonna slap me Jamie says that girls should be seen and not be heard His final word He's strong, smart, and soft like summer's rain But he's insane If I talk back Burk is gonna slap me

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released May 13, 2015

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