1. |
Rampage
04:54
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Long, long ago Burk was a man
But Burk sold his soul because he can
If you see him and he sees you
You better run and hide, you're fucking screwed
Burk is gonna kill you tonight
Burky's on a rampage
Burky's gonna hunt you down
Burky's on a rampage
Say your prayers and say your goodbyes
Some call him a God, and some a king
With Burk you never know what the future will bring
Oceans will boil and blood will rain
Your life will be filled with torture and pain
Burk is gonna kill you tonight
Burky's on a rampage
Burky's gonna end your life
Burky's on a rampage
Say your prayers and say goodnight
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2. |
Problem
05:00
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Doing 90 on the parkway, one eye closed and one hand cuffed
Sirens miles behind him where the pigs are chasing dust
He stuck some stupid sucker for his wallet and his cell
Jamie's up in heaven while you're stuck in Jamie's hell
Coke's so lovely
Burk's got money, Burk's got white
You got a problem? You got a fight
Burk's not backing down from anyone
He's just having fun
Street fights and some threesomes. Burk don't know and Burk don't care
Screaming at the moon after fighting with a bear
Jumping speedboats through a chopper while playing Edward 40-Hands
Bank hostages are dying cause they can't meet Burk's demands
Coke's so lovely
Burk's got money, Burk's got white
Burk's got a problem, Burk's got a knife
Burk's ready to do this one last time
His final line....
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3. |
Doomed
02:51
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Burk can't believe this
Burk's heart is pounding
Did you hear the news?
The offer went through
Burk's jumping up and down
The house is his, come look around
But take off your shoes
Burk's house, it rules. It has a view. Only a 10 minute drive to Walmart in North Versailles
Burk can't believe this
Burk's so excited
Did you hear the news?
Fixed rate mortgage at 2.2%
The air conditioner needs repaired
The siding has some wear and tear
But the porch is brand new
Behind a bookshelf, a secret room with a spiral staircase that leads down to a den
Ghosts: "We know who you are. You have awoken the spirits of the damned. It was on this very day, 3000 years ago they sacrificed 1000 virgin slaves, and that's why all your walls are bleeding. And if you think that's bad, wait until you're asleep, we'll scratch your eyes out."
Burk can't believe this
The house is haunted
Did you hear the news?
That Burk got screwed
Demons took his soul to hell
The power of Christ cannot compel
I guess Burk's just doomed
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4. |
Dancing Fool
02:42
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Roll up fresh when the evening's on
Walk up sick like the crowd is gone
Center stage, withdrawn
Moves turned up to the break of dawn
And Burk cannot be outdone by any of you
Burk came to pop and lock and dance
Burk came to pop and lock and dance
And Burk came to shock and awe the fans
And we stopped to watch him "Rocketman"
And Burkman, can't stop, can't stop, won't stop, hip hop
Burk's arch rival's turn is next
His disco moves leave Burky vexed
Back hand, loud thud
Burk moonwalked on a pool of blood
And Burk will not be outdone by any of you
Burk came to pop and lock and dance
Burk came to pop and lock and dance
And Burk came to shock and awe the fans
And we stopped to watch him "Park the Van"
And Burkman, can't stop, can't stop, won't stop, hip, hop
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5. |
Soft
03:53
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Keg ready, girls dancing
It's about time to start romancing
Eight beers, double vision
Little Burky is on a mission
She's staring at him with green eyes
She tells Burk that he should come inside
She grabbed Burky and said, "Listen babe, it's not that hard."
But Burk can't get it up
And Burk can't get it up
And Burk can't get it up
And Burk can't get it up
He's as soft as Wonderbread
Another night, a different story
Chugging tequila in all his glory
Topless babes, dirty thoughts
Burky's tummy's wet from body shots
Two girls, one James
He didn't even try to learn their names
They said, "Jamie, we're almost finished. Are you ready to start?"
But Burk can't get it up
And Burk can't get it up
And Burk can't get it up
And Burk can't get it up
He's as soft as Charmin Ultra
It's not that weird, it's pretty fuckin common
It happens all the time
Well I don't mean that it happens to me all the time
Just Google it
In a recent study, 7 out of 10 guys have felt this way
It doesn't mean that I'm not into it or I'm gay
I just can't get it up
And Burk can't get it up
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6. |
Wicked Sick
02:59
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Burky blew 400 bucks on a yard sale time machine
He wanted somewhere to go, not a place to stay
Burky had had enough of the same old same old, so he hopped on in the cockpit and flew away
He met and fell in love with a gentile girl named Eva
She asked James if he "really came all this way to save" her
She said, "Jamie my dear, my husband is abusive"
Burky said, "There is nothing to fear. I'll do anything for you"
Burky worked his way to the top of her husband's administration
Burky was his right hand man, with salary & paid vacation
When he returned to Eva, he asked, "Do you wanna know how he died?
I fed him rat poison and shot off his head, made it look like a suicide"
Burky said, "Now that I'm in charge of spreading the New World Order, I'll give you anything I want" and she said, "Burky's so cool."
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7. |
You Can Count On Me
03:08
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Jamie
We all have faith in Jamie
He who wath born from the sea
We all have a friend in Jamie
A world full of fools
Jamie chose me
I opened my eyes and now I can see
The next summer solstice we will join hands
We will sleep when heaven expands
Jamie
We all have faith in Jamie
He who wath born from the sea
We all have a friend in Jamie
A world full of liars
Jamie chose me
I closed my eyes so Jamie can lead
The next summer solstice will bring misery
The eternal elixir of Thanatos will set us free
All knowing is Jamie
You can count on me
All knowing is Jamie
You are love
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8. |
Lil Rascal
03:43
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Burk was born into a happy home
Loved to talk to grandma on the phone
Little Burky says the darndest things
Asks his mom to push him on the swing
Oh Burk, what have you gotten into?
Forgot to wear a helmet on his bike
Boo-boos on his knees, he did not like
Burk tried to bake a cake for dad
The fire took everything that they had
Oh Burk, what have you gotten into?
When the neighbors went out for a jog
Little Burk fed chocolate to their dog
He left the corpse in the alleyway
Didn't wash his hands for the rest of the day
Oh Burk, what have you gotten into?
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9. |
Planets
02:33
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Burk's walking down the street, midday, whistling his cares away
Stops right-quick to tie his shoes, something strange came on the news
Shook his head, "holy shit!" The pentagon was blown to bits
His jaw dropped when the Sun was blocked out by robots from other PLANETS!
Unanswered prayers, screams and moans
Bodies burning to their bones
Burk was running out of breath
The bots above were raining death
Out of everyone on Earth, the mothership selected Burk
A metal claw pulled him in
Abducted by robots from other PLANETS!
Prisoners call Burk "pretty lips," Burk's in robot jail
Burk had to join a robot gang to survive this robot hell
"Oil on my dick or knife!"
His tone was rather manic
But that's what you gotta do when you're imprisoned with ROBOTS FROM OTHER PLANETS!
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10. |
Burkland
04:32
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Disneyworld is pretty fun and magical
It'd be one of my first picks, if I was six
Six flags is grand if you wanna stand in line all day
It's rather boring, it leaves me snoring
What kind of monster goes to Sea World?
I don't think orcas should be in captivity
So come with me if you wanna see a world with pleasures that just grow
Oh, don't you know?
About Burkland! Burkland!
That's where I wanna be
Burkland! Burkland!
There's just so much to see
Burkland! Burkland!
My heart is filled with glee
Burkland! Burkland!
The rides are the best. Cardiac arrest killed 31 guests last year alone
Who would've known?
No inhibitions or restrictions, we can use drugs openly
So bring some ecstasy
Free whiskey shots at all the spots where strippers sing and shake their tits
And do some splits
So do yourself a favor. Sign the waiver, but you can't join in the fun if you're under 21
Burkland! Burkland!
That's where I wanna be
Burkland! Burkland!
There's just so much to see
Burkland! Burkland!
My heart is filled with glee
Burkland! Burkland!
Legend has it that if you sit next to Jamie on a ride
Be very sneaky, when he least expects it, tickle his side
All the way back to the station, Burk will giggle, Burk will beg and plea
But when the ride is over, he will give you a season pass for free
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11. |
Can You Dig It?
03:16
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Kablam! Slam! Jamie Burkman
Known all around the world, even in Japan
I guess it's clear now that he is a legend
Can't have a conversation without him mentioned
Always a party when Jamie come through
Walk in through the door, Newport and Mountain Dew
Big bag of herb, you already knew
Time to turn it up, Burkman to the rescue
Burk go hard, man, I must admit
We all knew that cause he's fuckin legit
Honestly there's nothing that he won't permit
When shit's going down, Burkman the culprit
Cause even if you don't see him, Burk's always around
No matter what we're doing, Jamie's always down
Hanging with Burkman, the man in town
Burk's like a king, dude. He should wear a crown
Burk's flawless and lawless, the opposite of bland
Clean out all of your ears so that you can understand
He'll cut you and fuck you and take a bit of time
And show you that your two cents ain't worth a dime
While Burk's gold money, in the dark he's sunny
Burk's a fucking A legend like the Easter Bunny
Burk don't ever let a pretty honey walk by unharassed
You'd think they'd keep on walking, but they thought he'd never ask
He gets them trashed, goes to work. Tap that ass
Burk got no class
"Leave bitch and cut the sass"
Burk's a baller
If you don't think he's faster, better, stronger, then he'll show you
It'd make you sick to see how many cash stacks that he blows through
Haters gonna hate, players gonna play
Burk kills n****** every single day
In every single way, makes him feel okay, what can he say?
Burk's a racist
From Monday to sundown, Burk gets down deep
Ran away one day and didn't come back for a week
Burk is a jerk, it's no joke
He tried to smoke banana peels with a peeled stogie
If he's not broke, don't try to fix him
It won't work cause Burky's not trying to listen
He's too busy getting stoned like bedrock
On his xbox and his dog got dreadlocks
Putting little kids in headlocks
Like Burk says, "the only good cops are dead cops"
Burk never backs down, when things get messy
Jesse is an assclown
Burk like a butterfly, sting like a Burk
If you Burk with Burky, Burk will go berserk
Burk never laughs, unless something's funny
Plus I heard he was good friends with Tom Montgomery
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12. |
Stepdad
04:04
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I try to be a good girl all day long
And do no wrong
I know he loves me but I get sad
When he gets mad
If I talk back Burk is gonna slap me
Jamie says that girls should be seen and not be heard
His final word
He's strong, smart, and soft like summer's rain
But he's insane
If I talk back Burk is gonna slap me
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